Saturday, August 21, 2004

i am so sleepy i can barely raise my head, much less open my eyes.
but i shall write, because that's what i do.
have just spent the past three hours on a boat. remember, it is past midnight which means that i spent my evening on a boat. not just any boat, mind you, but a boat traversing the deep blue sea at the tail end of the rainy season. i felt every gigantic wave that went past and over us. i held on to the boat for dear life as i stared at the dark sky littered with hundreds of stars and asked, "why me lord?"
i mean, there i was, ready to pass out, bile starting to surface from my gut, and i am stuck in the darkness. while we were being bounced around by the waves, all i could think about was, now here i am without a life jacket, sitting on a boat being rocked violently by the waves. above me is the dark sky, below me is the water, and around me are seasoned scuba divers who presumably know their way around the deep open sea. waaaahhhh!!!
on our way, one dive master told me, "if you feel nauseous, look up." hmmm...i think that's a metaphor. and a beautiful one, too.
if you feel like you can't handle being pushed around by the unfairness of life anymore, look up to HIM and all would be well.
seriously, when you're there on the boat at sea, you cannot help but pray. and i did. and i'm still alive.