1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have written more books than they've read.

2. Dr. Phil Mcgraw Who has managed to convince millions of women to buy his self-help books, despite the fact that his most hight-profile patient, Oprah Winfrey, is an overweight woman with serious commitment issues.

3. America''s Oil Companies For a lifetime body of work proving that oil and water don''t mix.

4.That 300 Pound Guy Who always manages to jam himself into the coach seat right next to yours on coast to coast flights.

5. Bill Gates For creating the X-Box and convincing Americans that their children need a $200 video game system during a recession.

6. Jared Of the Subway Sandwich fame, whose claim of losing hundreds of pounds and achieving optimum health by eating nothing but oversized, greasy heroes was questioned by no one.