Monday, February 27, 2006

sometimes i wonder if you think of me. what did we really have? i ask myself sometimes if maybe it's better this way -- you being so far away. these miles that separate us, i cannot believe how distant we are from each other. when have you become so unreachable?

sometimes, i feel as if you are running away from me, from the thoughts of what could be. but do you miss me, even once in a while? i wonder. and really.

i wonder if you know how much your leaving has caused a hole to open up inside my heart. i wonder if you even remember i exist. because, what did we have really? days ago, when you called, you seemed so distant, like a stranger, when we'd known each other for years. but do i know you really? i feel like i hardly do.

as the days pass, you grow more and more impersonal, you are so remote and i feel that even the warmth in my voice cannot penetrate you and the wall you've created between us. what are you so afraid of, i wonder. i never could hurt you, how could i? but did i, that one time, without me knowing?

sometimes i tell myself you do not deserve this, or me. but i know deep in my heart that that isn't the point and that wrongly or rightly, you are a part of me. or is it that i keep looking for the part of myself that i lost when you went away?

could you, perhaps, give it back to me?