Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I'm worried. What's new, right? No, wait. Before you roll your eyes, today's different. There's really something to be worried about. It's just one thing, everything else is fine, but somehow, everything else depends on that one thing.
There's a quick fix that I'd rather not do, since, in the long run, it will turn into a problem in itself. Come to think of it, it's already started long before. But I guess, the way things are going, I may have no other choice. It worries me that what I thought was enough is turning out to be quite the opposite.
I know there has got to be some changes, but those changes will break my son's heart. His birthday is coming up and we've promised to get him a bike. Now I'm not so sure we can fulfill that promise after all. What worries me is that if we make those changes, he'd say, "Kawawa naman ako. Wala akong pagkain." Which is something he's done several times in the past. I want him to grow up as healthy as possible but if we cut back on the snacks -- the juices, the fruits, the chocolate milk and the crackers -- he'd then have to eat more rice, which I'd rather he don't, since I don't want him to become as overweight as his mother.
Making those changes would be easier if we had a refrigerator, too, because then we'd have to do weekly/monthly instead of daily grocery trips. Those daily grocery trips are hell on the budget since when you're there you'll be tempted to get things, that are not necessarily on your list. As it is, though, a fridge is just out of the question.
I'll have to walk every day to work from now on. (I only do that when Joks is with me and we're walking inside the village.) I'm wondering if I can walk all the way from home, though. I'd like to walk all the way home in the evenings but that'd be too dangerous and too tiring since I'll have to buy dinner and cook when I get home.
I don't know what else to do. One of these days I'm going to have to pawn my wedding ring. I just know it. And it saddens me to think that I have to do that, me having a job and all. I guess that's my life. It's been this way since I was born. Why can't I just learn to suck it up?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
My boring layout lasted only a couple of hours. Heh. Thanks Liz, and thanks to the wonderful person who made this skin. Soooo cute. Just liek me. Not. :p
Got it on blogskins.com by the way. Really cool site.
Okay. So my attempts to jazz up my blog is a big FAIL. One of these days I'm going to have to learn how to do it. But well, I'm just too lazy. I wanted to use a great skin I found but I just couldn't seem to make it work the way I wanted to. The comments link kept on disappearing. And I just am not code-savvy enough to make the necessary changes on the given code. *sigh*
I need help.
Friday, February 13, 2009
10 things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:
10. You rock. Seriously.
9. I wish I'd never met you. But then again, if our paths never crossed, I wouldn't be able to know what it felt like to be unloved. I just hope our paths never cross again.
8. I wish you could've stayed longer than you have. I miss you, despite everything.
7. You think you're so smart. Grow up. I'm sick and tired of being your emotional punching bag. I'd like us to be friends, the way we never were.
6. Don't let her turn you into a monster. I wish you'd listen to me.
5. I miss the old you. Why do you do this to yourself? Why can't you take your life back? Why do you let them make you suffer? I pray that someday she'll forgive you and treat you the way you ought to be treated.
4. Thank you. For everything. I learned so much from you. I'm sorry if I let you down.
3. Shhh. Don't tell anyone. Please.
2. You are so lucky. I hope you'll come to understand that soon enough. Don't be such a worry wart.
1. You are my sunshine and my rock. Thank you for loving me, you are the greatest gift life has ever given me. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I sure as hell am not complaining!
9 things about yourself:
9. I am work in progress.
8. I am amazed when people compliment my writing.
7. I don't like watching most movies. And feel guilty about it.
6. I want to lose weight because I want to wear pretty clothes.
5. I don't feel my age.
4. I simply hate being poor. It's inconvenient.
3. I wish I could shop and not spend half the time looking at price tags.
2. I'm trying to be the best parent one can possibly be for my two little sweethearts.
1. I feel uncomfortable in parties, very much.
8 ways to win your heart:
8. hugs
7. kisses
6. compliments
5. gifts
4. respect
3. trust
2. unconditional love
1. faithfulness
7 things that cross your mind a lot:
7. money
6. work
5. kids
4. money
3. future for my family
2. vacation
1. money
6 things you do before you fall asleep:
6. kiss jaden good night
5. kiss joks good night
4. send an SOS up there
3. try not to think about money
2. pull up my blanket all the way to my chin
1. close my eyes :D
5 people who mean a lot:
5. friends
4. co-workers
3. mom
2. kiddies
1. joks
4 things you're wearing right now:
4. underthings
3. shirt
2. leggings
1. wedding ring
3 songs that you listen to often (currently):
3. Mercy (Duffy)
2. Criminal (Fiona Apple)
1. Tapestry (Carole King)
2 things you want to do before you die:
2. learn to SCUBA dive
1. learn to draw
1 confession:
1. I wish I could enjoy myself and not take everything too seriously. But I really don't know how.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
It's harder than you think!! Here is what you are supposed to do...use only one word for each of the following...and please don't spoil the fun...copy and paste into your own note, type in your answers and tag a bunch of people - including me.
Where is your cell phone TABLE
Your hair LONG
Your favorite thing KISSES
Your dream last night FORGOTTEN
Your favorite drink JUICE
Your dream/goal WEALTH
The room you are in OFFICE
Your fear POVERTY
Where do you want to be in 6 years NEGROS
Muffins BLUEBERRY
One of your wish list items DSLR
Where you grew up QC
The last thing you did BLOG
What are you wearing BLACK
Your TV SMALL
Your pets DEAD
Your computer BUSTED
Your life WHEEL
Your mood NERVOUS
Missing someone KIDS
Your car WISH
Favorite store LANDMARK
Your summer BORING
Your favorite color BLACK
When is the last time you laughed MEETING
Last time you cried FORGOTTEN
Three people who email me MEG, STEPH, SKY
Three of my favorite foods CHOCOLATE, COOKIES, SANDWICHES
Three places I would rather be right now HOME, MALL, LIBRARY
Three people I think will respond NO IDEA
Copy pasted from Facebook. I still can't believe I was able to do this. Didn't think I had enough attention span.
(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag at least 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click post.)
*sigh* if only my life were that interesting. But I'll give it a shot. I've been tagged by Liz.
Here goes...
1. I have two kids and I love them to death. They make me laugh and smile and feel all gooey inside.
2. I've been blessed with a wonderful husband who loves me no matter how I look or how bad I behave sometimes. I can be a first class bitch when I want to. And he's always been very patient with me. He also has the balls to tell me when I've crossed the line. It's his dream for us to grow old and spend our afternoons watching sunsets on our beach together.
3. I love watching sunsets. I love counting shooting stars. And walking on the beach at night.
4. I don't know how to swim or ride a bike.
5. I lived on the beach for over a year. It was great but I'm a city girl and I couldn't quite get myself completely out of a city, any city, for more than a month a time. Bus fares to Bacolod and Dumaguete were pretty expensive but I just couldn't help it. So sue me.
6. Working for television for nearly eight years taught me a lot about life. I can't help but be thankful for my former boss from whom I learned so much. He's been dead for years and I still miss him.
7. I love riding airplanes. My first plane ride was to Puerto Princesa when I was in fourth grade. My lolo took us to Palawan as a gift for being the top in class. He passed away a couple of years later and missed my grade school graduation. I wonder where he could have taken me if he knew I would be the class valedictorian.
8. I still remember my grade school crush who, luckily, turned out to have a crush on me too. LOL. We never would talk to each other. In sixth grade, he'd walk me home but we'd be on either side of the road, not talking. It was in our fourth year in high school when he finally had the guts to talk to me. That was a crazy time. *wink*wink
9. I met my grade school crush again in the most unlikely and unexpected place: in a golf and country club where he worked as a waiter. I was there for an interview with a golfer with my boss and my husband. That was crazy too. LOL.
10. I used to collect stamps when I was a kid. Now I wish I were into crafts. But toddlers and crafts are a deadly mix. Maybe when they're a bit older.
11. I'd like to design t-shirts someday. And sell them and become a millionaire.
12. F%&$@ that. I want to become filthy rich. Being poor is so...inconvenient. Hee.
13. I make it a point to say "thank you" and "please" when using public transport. I don't think people or the world, for that matter, owe me anything.
14. I am so insecure I hate it. About everything. I'm working on it. Every single day. Promise.
15. I sometimes wish things in my life were a bit different. But I've learned to roll with the punches because, what else is there to do?
16. I need to lose a lot of weight. Like, half of my weight right now so I can go back to my body when I was in high school. I want to wear nice clothes and not look like a mother of two so much.
17. I am thankful for very very good friends. They're more like family really. They're there for me even if my own family isn't.
18. I almost didn't make it to my college graduation. My mom had no money to pay for the rent of the gown. My college friends came to the rescue -- Mae and Julia. They're super and awesome. I will never forget that.
19. I shy away from parties. I've never been a partygoer because of #14. I care too much about what people will say. But again, I'm working on that. Trying to, anyway. I can't believe I missed the Comm Block reunion last January. I hope I can make it to the next one, though.
20. I'd like to learn how to draw. And dance. Every time I listen to Michael Buble I always wish I knew how to dance.
21. I don't like watching movies. There are movies that I'd watch, sure, but frankly, I'd rather read.
22. I only like a handful of TV shows -- Oprah, CSI, House, Project Runway, Mythbusters, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I cannot be coerced into watching shows that I don't like, even if every body says it's great. I like to spend my vacations doing marathons of my favorite TV shows.
23. But I do love the Lifestyle Channel. I'd like a TV of my own that has cable so I can watch it any time I please. But you can't always get what you want. Someday, I'll have a satellite dish and the TV will be permanently tuned in to it. Payback time.
24. I love detective stories and have read all of the Sherlock Holmes stories and novels several times each. I'm also loving Agatha Christie right now and aim to read all of her books this year.
25. I've just read Paolo Coelho's The Alchemist. It was enlightening. Thanks to Nica, Liz and Meg for encouraging me to buy it.
Really. I've been cutting down on coffee since that day when I began to feel woozy all the time. I drank water, lots of it. And took a short but brick walk this morning which made me jittery during breakfast.
Anyway, about the walk: Joks and I have been walking in the village nearly every morning on weekdays and in the QC Circle on weekends. I've taken some photos (of the park, not of the walking blubber that is me) but haven't had the time nor the inclination to edit and post them so...that will take a while.
Every day I think of stuff I want to blog about but it's either I can't make myself sit and compose something to say when I'm in front of the computer or I'm way too lazy to do it so nothing gets blogged.
So what could I write about now? Hmm, lemme see...oh, the dreaded V-day. I've never really hard a romantic V-day all my life. I guess Joks has always been very practical about things and would rather spend it on something we could use or save the money for a rainy day. Plus, he's never been much of a romantic guy.
Case in point, a conversation we had the other day:
L: Uy, Dad, flowers o. Malapit na Valentine's... (hint, hint)
J: Oo nga. Sana may magbigay sa'yo ng flowers.
*sigh*
But I can't complain, he's the most loving, most responsible husband anyone could ever ask for. I'll take what I'm given.
Oh, a little story about a little boy. Yesterday, just as Jaden was going out the door to play with other kids, he saw a kid walk past. The kid was holding a cup of halo-halo and was, I suppose, in the process of kerchomping it. Guess what the little boy said, "Pssst! Pahingi!"
Joks laughed so hard that Jaden cried. (He feels as if he's being laughed at, we always try and explain to him that we are simply enjoying him, not making fun of him. Still, he cries. Tsk tsk.) Joks had to go out and buy him his own cup of halo-halo.
My little boy is growing up. *sniffs*
Thursday, February 05, 2009
I was using Stumble Upon to find ideas for work and I saw this.
It's an amazing site where you can make your own handwriting font easily. The coolest thing is, it's free.
Do check it out. I got mine and I can't wait to use it for my yearbook projects.
Way cool. You have to try it. Really.
Labels: cool website, fun, handwriting fonts
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Either that or I was just too lazy to stop and write here.
For the first time in years, I celebrated my birthday. Okay, let me explain. My birthdays were never really grand, festive occasions. I don't know why, though. It just happened that way. I always felt sad whenever my birthday rolled around, not because I was a year older but I never seemed to celebrate it right. Joks and I just usually went out to have dinner at a nice place and that would be it.
This year's birthday is different. And way more fun. The super cool and extremely gorgeous people at the office gave me a red velvet birthday cake. IT WAS AWESOME!!! That was my first birthday cake since my 7th birthday.
Thanks guys. And I got a really great birthday gift and note from them as well. Will post pictures as soon as I get over my lazy spell. Right now though, I have to get back to work. Been slacking for over an hour watching Mythbusters already so I have to bust my butt starting now.